new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
