at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize