Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(319): View more from Iowa

went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.

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(773): View more from Illinois

I am midnight drunk by noon

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(502): View more from Kentucky

she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point

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(775): View more from Nevada

I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...

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(260): View more from Indiana

How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.

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(815): View more from Illinois

You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Where are you guys?

(336): View more from North Carolina

Drunk

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