I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
