what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
