I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize