I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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