I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
