i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
