How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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