Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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