My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
