well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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