Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
