I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
