He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
