she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
