walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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