my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
