We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
