I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Christians are straight up FREAKS
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize