A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
