You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You dont lie about slip and slides
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
