You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize