they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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