when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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