Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Randomize
