If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
