so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
cat food counts as protein by the way
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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