1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
