his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
