If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
In America we eat man semen.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
last night I used snow as a chaser
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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