every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
