Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
