No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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