You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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