YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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