New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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