My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize