apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
