I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
