Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
