Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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