Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
