so explain again why im purple
no
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
