i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Randomize
