I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
