Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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