Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
