summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize