Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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