We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
