try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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