I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
