I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
