see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
