im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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