garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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