he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
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