hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
