my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
