Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize