We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
