Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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