we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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