im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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