Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
