it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
