But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
