Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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