I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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