What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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