You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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