so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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