why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
