hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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