For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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