WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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